Dorothy We’re Not in Kansas Anymore…There’s Black Folks in OZ!!!

Hello Everyone,

I trust everyone enjoyed the weekend and Mother’s Day.  I am of course, a world away from my Mommy and I was missing her terribly.  I am an only child and we are very close.  We have been since day one. In fact, my Mother & I have never had an argument nor have we ever said a cross word to each other.  I am truly blessed to have her as a Mommy.

So, what’s new in my world?  Not much actually.  Still waaaaaaaaaay out in the western suburbs. It’s funny, whenever I am in the city and someone asks where I am staying and I tell them, the reaction is always the same. “Where is THAT?”. When I narrow down the location for them, they always say, “Man, you are way out there.”.  Yeah, thanks, I know. This whole town shuts down at 7:00pm.  There is a grocery, liquor store, butcher, fruit/veggie market, sundry, restaurant, drug store and beauty shop all one block away and each business closes down at 7pm sharp.  You are completely s.o.l. if you want some damn chips or something at 8:30. I really miss living in the city, but due to the fact that I have to really watch my money, I am appreciating my friend Sue allowing me to stay at her home for free. My plan is that when I get back from New Zealand in mid June to get an apartment in the city. I miss my morning walks exploring Sydney and my coffee shop chill time.

Speaking of walks, I am majorly focused on losing these 18lbs I have gained since Feb. 1st. I went jeans shopping last Saturday and I am up a size!!  Not a good look. I now get up every morning and walk/run for 4-5 miles everyday.  I have also stopped eating hot chips (french fries). None for the past 9 days!!  I can already see the difference. My stomach is flat again and my thighs are getting tighter.  I of course gained the weight in my thighs, hips (I got hot-chips hips, LOL) and tummy as I always do. Why can’t I gain some weight in my ass so it won’t continue to be flat as a damn pancake??? Oh well, guess I have to do squats like my girl Roz always says to me.  Her ass is re-damn-diculous because she is the queen of squats.  She looks amazing!!

What’s new on the man front??  Not a damn thing, that’s what!  For one thing, I am stuck out in the boonies and I never leave the house so that is not helping my social life at all.  Also, I am so COMPLETELY over meeting guys here it is ridiculous.  I will be try and be positive and simply say that thus far, Aussie guys have just not been my cup of tea…I actually think this a Sydney problem (or it could be a Me problem-who knows-wouldn’t be the first time), because I have met some Aussie guys since I have been here that live in Melbourne & I have mates on the Gold Coast and they are cool as hell!!   Shout out to PH, DZ, TJ & DC. The only boys I like being around are my American & non Aussie-mates I have met here. How funny is that?? I have to come all the way across the damn world to find an appreciation for American men.  Too funny.

I did have an amazing experience last week.  I MET BLACK PEOPLE FROM AMERICA right here in Sydney!!  I declare, I truly thought that I was the only Black American in this entire country!  Not that it was a big deal because as I have mentioned before, I experience no racism here and I am very cool on that front.  It is just that when you go for long periods of time and you don’t see any damn body that even remotelIy looks like you or knows your experiences, then it get a bit isolating.  So, how did this glorious event in my life happen?  It started back in late March when I decided to couchsurf for the first time. I ended up surfing at my friend Justin’s place – remember the apartment I had for two weeks with the water view – check my facebook for pics.  Anyway, Justin told me he had a friend named Amani that I should meet. He is a Brotha from America that is working here in Sydney as an Investment Banker. Justin gave me his number to ring him, but when I called him, he could not talk because he was busy at work.  He called me back 2 days later and left me a vm. I ended up erasing the number by accident and we didnot connect.  Fast forward to last Sunday – I was in the city for the weekend and Amani calls me. Turns out, I was having dinner with 2 new friends I met earlier in the day at a restaurant that was a few blocks from his house. He was headed out and I told him to stop by.  He shows up about 20 minutes later and ya’ll let me tell you…Amani is FINE AS HELL!!! He is a dark chocolate, bald headed, well dressed, pretty white teeth havin, funny as hell, nice bootie havin Brotha!!  Good Lawd!!!! Dayum!!!!!! I about lost my religion!!

I was cool of course when he came to our table and chatted for a bit.  We made plans to get together later in the week. When he left the table, I literally could not stop cheezin!  I had the biggest damn kool-aid smile on my face for hours. My new friends were cracking up. It’s now Tuesday and I am still in the city as I had a networking event to go to. I knew I would not want to be there long so I sent Amani a text to see if he was free. He said he was at a dinner but we could meet up later. Cool. We made plans to meet at Hugo’s at 10:00pm. Now ya’ll know my old ass is usually in bed by 10, but hell, he could have said 1am and I would have been there. I get to the club and he is in the downstairs part with friends. He comes out and gets me and when I get inside, I could not believe my eyes.  I thought what I was seeing was a mirage but it was for real.  There were about 15-20 BLACK PEOPLE!!!!!  My jaw hit the floor! Seriously. Amani was at the club with friends that were celebrating the fact that one of their beautiful Sista-Friends had just graduated from film school. Amani introduced me to everyone and I literally almost started crying – first because I forgot my damn camera and second because I was in such shock. Everyone was from 25-35, professional, creative, fashionable, intelligent, down, cool, open and fun as hell. I met people from North Carolina, Los Angeles, New York, etc… I was in Heaven! We partied and talked for the next 2 hours until the club closed and then went out front and talked some more.  One of the girls that is a Beyonce look-a-like invited me to a party she was having this past Friday.  I ended up not being able to go for personal reasons, but I know I will see everyone again.  It feels so amazing to have a new network here that I can actually relate to.

Okay, I meant to write a short blub, but as usual, with my detail giving azz, I have written a novel. Oh well…until next time. Caio My Friends!!!!  Love Ya!

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Whooties Whooties Everywhere!!

Hi Everyone. I trust you all had a great week.  Nothing new here.  I’ve just been hunkered down here in the boonies aka the Western suburbs working diligently on my web stuff.

My life has been pretty quiet this week. I had a bit of a wild, busy 4 days last weekend – details I will be keeping to myself – so I have been super boring and quit this week. What I did want to write about is yet another reason why I love living in Australia.  As some of you may know, exactly 14 months ago, I was MUCH MUCH larger than I am now. Almost 50 pounds (23 kilos) more than I do today.  Living in America gives you a totally fucked up vision of what is considered attractive if you are a woman.  If you are not a size 0 or now 00, then you are considered to be fat.  It’s sick.  One of the first things I noticed when I got to Australia is that women here are of all sizes and no one cares.  When you see ads or women on tv, they are on average, size 8. When I first saw ads, the first thing I thought to myself was, “Damn, that chick is fat!”.  How crazy is that?!?  I had been brainwashed by the American media to expect to see anorexic women as a beauty idea. Sick!

Another obversation I noticed about women here is that there a ton of WHOOTIE’S here.  What’s a whootie you ask?  A whootie is a white girl with a bootie!  Not just any bootie, but a sista-girl bootie.  It is the strangest thing.  These girls are packin’ out here.  There are skinny whooties, medium sized wooties, asian whooties, white whooties.  It’s incredible.  Women here are curvy and sexy and no one cares if they are a size 2 or a 22.  Needless to say, I am  very happy to be here since even though I have lost a ton of weight, I am still very curvy and I LOVE IT!!  I feel & am sexier now than I ever have in my entire life.  I am completely unburdened with having to get on scales, watch what I eat or any of that crap. It feels wonderful.  For all of my friends that may be wondering if I have kept my weight off, then answer is yes.  I did gain about about 12lbs before I left the states because I was thoroughly enjoyed my American cheeseburgers and pizza.  Once I got to OZ, I gained about 5 lbs for a total of 17lbs total.  In the past 2 months, I have dropped about 11 lbs – I’m guessing since I don’t get on scales – but my small clothes I brought over here are still loose. Now if I can only change my flat ass into a whootie bootie, I will be set!!  LOL

Anyway, gotta get back to work.  I’ve got content to create and sites to get up.

Ciao for Now.

Me 14 months ago at 210lbs

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Life in Sydney for The OnyxTraveler

Since I am so behind on posts, I thought I would take the time to do one big “Why I Love Sydney” post so that I can get up to speed with real-time posts. This one is going to be a bit long. I arrived in Sydney on March 19th, 2009, not really knowing what to expect.  I knew I would really like it here since I had read soooooooo many incredibly positive things about the city as I did my research.  I have to admit that when I was in the Gold Coast, the night before I was set to fly here, I went thru a bit of a quasi-breakdown.  I was up till about 4am filled with anxiety and I was incredibly emotional.  I felt like I was on the verge of a crying meltdown.  I think I went thru that because I suspected that once I got to Sydney, my life was going to change exponentially and my  psyche was adjusting.  Sounds a bit “airy-fairy” I know but it makes sense to me.  When I did arrive on my flight from The Gold Coast, I was still out of  kilter emotionally.  In my visions, I would have been the happiest I had ever been in my life, but on this day, it was not the case.

The Sydney Airport: they have one of the worst airports I have been to.  The signage is poor & there is no one to help you if you need directions or have questions. The airport customer service staff is all volunteer so if there are no volunteers that day, then there is no one to help you. The signs directing you to where to catch shuttles, taxis, etc…are basically nonexistent, so here I am with my huge, heavy ass bag (which I had to pay $75 extra to check since it was over the weight limit), I’m tired as hell since I didn’t sleep the night before & I’m hungry as hell as it is now Noon and I cannot figure out where to catch my damn shuttle. After wandering around and asking 6 people – getting 6 different answers, I make it to an area that I think is right. I have 10 different Asian shuttle drivers approach me trying to hustle me to take me into the city (fortunately I had read about their tactics in my guide book) and I’m about to cuss all of them out because I knew they were not my specific shuttle. After what seemed like hours, my dude did show – in an unmarked bus by the way. I’m now off to my hostel, The Wakeup.  Update: there was a biker (bikie out here) gang war at the airport a week after I arrived and one biker dude was killed.  They were fighting right in the terminal and one dude was killed.  Imagine how pissed I would have been walking into that mess!!

Hostel Life: As you all may or may not know, this trip for me is supposed to be “backpacker style” – one bag (a super huge and heavy one) with my necessities, staying in hostels at times, couchsurfing (I’ll explain what that is in later posts) and relying on the kindness of friend referrals to allow me to stay for free at their homes.  Basically, I have to spend as little money as possible on the necessities of life.  Those of you that know me know that this is COMPLETELY the opposite of how I usually travel and I’m sure you think I have gone off the deep end.  I was formerly, notice I said formerly, a 4-5 star type of traveler. I call it “Grown Girl Travel”. I usually stay at really nice luxury hotels (especially when my “sponsers” were paying, hehehehe), when I go for extended trips, as I did for the summer of 06 to Europe for 90 days. I rent super nice luxury apartments in upscale apartments so that I can “live like a local”. Not a poor local, a wealthy one, lol.  Thankfully, that is who I formerly was.  In the process of coming here, I was instructed by The Universe to sell all of my things.  The process of purging & seeing my beautiful possessions go made me realize that they are just “things” that used to define me but no longer.  I could now care less about shopping, luxury this and that and all the false trappings of “success”.  It’s all an illusion and bullshit for me personally & I am grateful to be released from the shackles of being defined by outward perceptions.  Anyway, as I was saying, I have to SERIOUSLY economize now so I decided to stay in a hostel.  This was not my first hostel experience. I stayed in one in July 06 while at the Montreaux Jazz fest in Switzerland. It was tight – right on Lake Geneva, super clean and beautiful – definitely not the dirty hostel, backpacker horror experience you read about.  I had done a ton of research to find just the right hostel and I did.  I chose The Wake-up hostel  www.thewakeup.com .  It was voted the “Best Large Hostel in the World” by several groups that rate such things.  It is known for its cleanliness, party atmosphere, design and overall great time. I was just happy that it was $27.00/nt US. I booked a week there as I didn’t know if I would like it. As I mentioned earlier, I was not doing really well emotionally at this point (I had actually gotten a bit depressed by this time) so I was not my usually uber-happy, mega spiritual kum-by-ya self when I arrived. I was fine but not “truly Sheila”. I had booked a female share 4 which meant that there would be 4 girls in the room.  I got checked in okay, headed to the 6th floor and got to room 608 (which would become my home for 2.5 weeks). I was incredibly underwhelmed when I opened the door. It was brightly painted and clean, but there were 2 bunkbeds and it was sparce. Definitely NOT the Four Seasons . My immediate thought was “Oh Lord, I don’t think I can do this,”. I decided to make the best of it- as if I had a choice – get unpacked and go explore in the city.  One of the awesome things about The Wakeup is that it is uber central to EVERYTHING!! It’s right across from the train station, near all the cool neighborhoods and a short distance from the Opera House. To make a long story short, I ended up LOVING the Wakeup. I became friends with all the staff, I truly enjoyed meeting the parade of backpacker girls from all over the world that would come and go – it was not the norm for someone to stay as long as I did. Everyday I was meeting someone from England, Switzerland, Italy, Chile, Holland, Ireland, Canada, the USA, Germany, etc… All from 18 – 45.  It was 2 1/2 weeks of dorm-like living just like in college.  Thankfully I look like I am in my 20′s (Black Don’t Crack Baby!) so I was able to fit right in. When I did eventually leave, I missed it and actually went back 2 weekends ago to stay because I missed the energy of The Wakeup. My #1 goal in staying at a hostel was to meet tons of people and make new friends – albeit transient ones while I was in Sydney.  I accomplished this and more and I highly recommend hostel living at least once in your life.

Sydney the City: I LOVE SYDNEY, I LOVE SYDNEY, I LOVE SYDNEY, I LOVE SYDNEY, I LOVE SYDNEY, I LOVE SYDNEY, I LOVE SYDNEY, I LOVE SYDNEY, I LOVE SYDNEY, I LOVE SYDNEY, oh and did I mention, I LOVE SYDNEY!!!!!!!!!!  I do not know how I’m going to convey to ya’ll how/why I love this city so much. Is it possible to have a love affair with a city and feel emotionally connected to it? Not sure, but that is what I am experiencing. I guess the best way to describe how I’m feeling is to simply say that “I’m Home!!”. After many,many, many years of traveling, searching for an elusive “something” and not really realizing that I was searching and not knowing what I was searching for, always being restless, living with the constant feeling of having a hole in my soul that I could not fill, yearning for peace but always being in a state of unrest, feeling lost, feeling like I never belonged where I was, constantly changing with the wind because I could never be settled and all the while driving my friends and family crazy – I am truly grateful to say those experiences for me have ended.  Within a week of being here I knew that I was Home. This is where I am supposed to be. For the first time in my life, my Soul is peaceful and rested, my Spirit is on High, my mind is at ease, I don’t yearn for that elusive “something” and I am settled.  Words cannot describe finally living life while being truly “at peace”. It’s incredible!!  I still don’t know why God wanted me to be here or what he wants me to do, but I am able to be patient, build my life here and be ready. It’s so awesome!!

So, what is so great about Sydney: I can only answer that from my perspective, but I will start with the energy here. For me, it’s a creative, loving, positive, forward thinking, fully charged city.  It’s very clean and open and well planned out.  It is a city that actually has a center and the city fans out from it’s center.  This is really important because a city that has a true center has a cohesiveness to it that draws & holds people together.  It’s very unlike LA or NY where there is no center whatsoever. LA is simply a series of seperate mini-cities that are all stuck together with no continuity or connectedness.  That is why it is so easy to feel lost in a city like LA because there is no sense of community throughout the city due to the fact that there is not a central focal point for people to be drawn to or reference.  This won’t make sense until you go to a city that has a true center -Paris is good example of this.  The grid of the city has a true center and the arrondisments (neighborhoods) fan out from it.  While the neighborhoods are all
different, there is still a sense of a unified, connected Paris. I need to be in cities that have a center.

I have spent many of my weeks here exploring different neighborhoods. Sydney is definitely a walking & public transportation town. I usually wake up around 7am, put on my workout gear and hit the streets.  I’ll pick an area on the map and walk to it. I walk the streets exploring early in the morning while the shops are closed so that I can map out where I want to visit when I return. I’ll find a cafe to have my cappuccino & breakfast (breakie here) and talk to local people. I’ve discovered the Circular Quay (pronounced “key”)- where the Opera House is, The Rocks – next to the circular Quay-this is where the convicts settled, Chinatown, the CBD (central business disctict), Surrey Hills (my favorite area – full of cafes, bars, restaurants, gays), Darlinghurst (next to Surrey Hills – also cool), Kings Cross (the red light/entertainment district), Elizabeth Bay (waterfront quiet enclave next to Kings Cross), Potts Point (next to Elizabeth Bay – older upscale – where I want to live), Paddington (near Surrey Hills – gentrified area – now very upscale and cosmopolitan. Tons of Australian designers have shops here), Woolomoloo (waterfront area – Russel Crowe has a home here), Darling Harbor (waterfront touristy area), Manley beach – cool beach community, Bondi Beach (well known beach community _ I don’t like the energy there), Parramatta (the western suburbs – they call it Sydney’s 2nd business district – very suburban – way the hell away from the city -it’s where I’m staying now) and finally The Northern Suburbs (all waterfront, north of the city, very upscale and family oriented, uber wealthy in most parts – it’s where I would settle if I didn’t want to live in the city). In all the areas I have explored and now know so well, I have only encountered the nicest, most genuine people. People smile here, their energy is positive, they help you if you have questions or look lost, they are open, they are accepting and just overall cool.  As a Black Woman traveling here, this is the first place I have ever been to in my entire life where I’m not defined first by my color. I’ve always hated it when people say, “I don’t see color,”. I’ve always thought that was TOTAL BULLSHIT, but I have to say that while being here, I have experienced that as being true time and time again. Obviously they see that I am Black as I couldn’t hide this chocolateness if I wanted to. The difference is IT DOESN’T MATTER that I am brown.  In the USA and almost everywhere else I have been to, the process is: 1. see a brown/black person 2. make a judgement – usually a negative one 3. interact with the brown/black person based on those judgements/filters.  Here, step 2. is removed (in my experience and in many other brown/black people I have talked to).  Sydney is as close to being a colorblind city (as it pertains to black people) as I could ever wish for.  You all have to visit!!  It is amazing here!!

I’m going to end this post and start with new ones now as I am experiencing life now.  I’ll write about meeting people and dating here in sydney, making money, travel, trying not to be homeless, what my next steps are, etc… in future posts. I’ll now work to do 1-2 posts a week.  Stay tuned…

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