How to be Single Around the World

I first discovered Liz Tuccillio’s webisodes about being single when I was doing research on what it was like to be single in Sydney. Liz is formerly a writer on one of my all time favorite shows, Sex in the City and she co-wrote the book, ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’, which I think I blogged about in an earlier post. I relayed the story of how the man that I had “dating” & truly cared about off and on for many months actually bought me that book while were ON A DATE!!! Years later, that one still stings, LOL!!

Anyway, I thought this particular webisode was interesting since I am single as I travel around the world. Looks like I need to look into going to Iceland! Enjoy and check out her other videos. They are very insightful. You can check out more of her videos by visiting her site: www.yourtango.com… .

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Love is in the Air…It’s Just Not Blowing This Way…

Hello All! How goes it Mates? Things are good here in the land of OZ, however, I am feeling the internal rumblings of the need for MAJOR change yet again. Just lying still until the message is more clear.

Anyway, one of the changes I am ready for is true love/companionship in my life. I am beyond over the pattern of meeting men that I want to be with and they are not into me and/or meeting men that I am not into and I cannot get rid of them. It’s become absurdly comical when the men that I have absolutely no attraction to whatsoever criticize me (veiled as “helpful” advice) by saying that I am “closed to Love” and that is why I am single. Well NO SHIT Sherlock -like you as a friend but you don’t remotely get my juices flowing, so uh YEAH, the doors are CLOSED!!! What is it going to take for me to meet just one Man that is completely into me and vice versa? I know that everyone says be patient, but DAYUM!!! I know that I am not perfect and I have a lot more work to do, but can a Sistah get some consistent affection in the meantime? LOL

I am a regular reader of blogs that promote the interest of strong, beautiful Black Women and one of them is http://www.alphanista.com created by the beautiful Maryann Reid. She sent an email to her list that spoke to me and I think it may speak to my fellow single readers that are looking for love. I’m going to adopt these tactics as I continue to work on softening & opening my heart.

Here is the post:

Getting The Love You Deserve–The GAME

It’s not just a love game, but life’s a game.

A game of ask and receive. Sometimes, we question if it can really be that easy. Oh, it is. The problem lies in our end when we don’t believe. Specifically, when it comes to love. Here’s a story.

A lady I met a business conference told me about a time in her life when she hadn’t had sex in three years, or even been on a date. I asked her what she did to turn it around. The rock on her ring finger blinded me!

She told me that around the 3rd year, she felt her life was never going to change. She was 36 and over the time, had gained 25 pounds. She was overweight, getting bitter, and slowly shutting herself down. She had little friends, because everyone had moved, had kids, or married off. So, what she did was take a pen and paper. She started to sketch about once or twice a week the life she wanted–a garden, a handsome, loving husband, children, a better job, and her own home. She wrote and drew intricate details. She told me, in about the 3rd week, she got an invitation to housesit for a relative in Martha’s Vineyard.

She spent half the summer secluded in all its beauty, and still a little depressed there was no one to share with. Low and behold, her next door neighbors invited her to a BBQ a few weeks later, and she met him. Him, who? Him, her husband. They got married in a few months. It happened quick, clean, and fast. He was 44, divorced, and ready, too. She now lives in Martha’s Vineyard, and everything she has sketched has come to pass–everything.

Many folks don’t know how to ask. They either create their own system or use one that is tried and true. Either way, start rolling up your sleeves, use your inner resources, and cause a dramatic shift in your love life–like magic.
With love,
Maryann
www.alphanista.com…

Caio for Now and stay blessed!!
Love,
Sheila

This Brotha summed everything up perfectly!! BTW…contrary to belief, I LOVE BLACK MEN! I LOVE ALL MEN!!

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I Kissed a boy!!

Sat March 14th – The conference was great.  Met tons of people, made lots of connections, learned lots of stuff…yeah, yeah, yeah, I want to talk about Euro.

So, I wake up all giggly and smiley just like a damn girl.  I met a boy, I met a boy and I’m going to get him to ask me out today!  I get sort of cute – keep in mind that my effing curling iron burned up day one. It is now day 3 and the hair is not looking good.  I have to rock my green hat for the rest of the damn event.  That kills several of the majorly cute outfits I would like to wear.  How can I be sexy, alluring & professional without looking like I am trying to be?  Oh yeah, tight jeans, cute sandals and a tight, yet tastful, boobie revealing top.  Niiiiiiiice!!  I head downstairs with my mission very clear…find Euro and make him mine!!  I get down early to get my up front seat and I am cooly and casually scanning the crowd. He’s tall (6’3″ – I likeeeee) and his look is distinctive so he will be easy to spot.  Damn, I don’t see him anywhere!  I sit with my friends David and others and listen to all the great content. Lunch break – gotta find him.  He is still now where to be seen.  After lunch, I spot him!  I make a cool, calculated, sexy beeline over to him and say “hi” all while thanking God that I had time after lunch to go to the room and completely spruce – fresh breath, deodorant reapplied, make-up tightened up, big chocolate boobies pulled up & pushed in nice and high in the push up bra.  Oh yeah, I’m armed and ready!! I saunter over to Euro and ask where he’s been all day. He tells me that he had work to do (me likeee that answer. Gotta make that paper!!).  We chat for a bit before I had to go to my seat.  He asks me if I would like to meet in the bar after the conference for some wine.  BINGO!!!  I told ya’ll ladies, this shit works!!!!  I smile my big chester cheetah smile and I say, “of course”. I’ll meet you at 8:00pm.  Needless to say, I didn’t hear a word that was said at WIS the rest of the conference.  We broke for the evening at 7:00.  I had one hour to get get super sexy, again, without looking like I’m trying.  I shower and put on the same jeans with another cute top.  Redo the makeup and hair and out the door I go to meet Euro. Real-deal Holyfield details are reserved for my V.I.P. group of grown girls, so I’ll keep this brief.  We met for drinks and really connected.  After 2 bottles of wine, we decided to go to dinner.  Had a great dinner – lots more drinks and convo. and it was back to the hotel to rest up for the long day ahead of us the next morning.   Okay, okay, there was some major kissing involved. but as I said, only my “grown girls” and ya’ll know who you are will get the REAL SCOOP and it’s good!!!  hehehehehehe

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I MET A BOY!!

March 13th – It does not take me long does it!! Day 2 baby!!  Day started at 9:00 – I’m on row 3.  Tons of different speakers with so much content, I am transfixed on the knowledge I am receiving.  Toward the end of the day, Susan and I duck out and go sit on a sofa in the lobby.  This guy comes over and asks can he join us. I am brain dead at this point so I really didn’t notice him, but of course we say yes.  We start talking – the obligatory “what do you do” question.  Susan and I give our spiel and he (I won’t give his name to protect the innocent. I’ll call him “Euro” as he had a very European style with his dress that was sexy.) has a site that is in a niche that I would have never thought of.  Once you hear it, it is super obvious, however, you would never imagine that there is a market for it.  Turns out there is and he is VERY successful.  Hmmmm…my interest is piqued lol.  He is actually really cute, however, it doesn’t seem like he is interested in me too much, so I don’t “turn on the charm” like I usually would.  We all ended up talking for a bit more and then it was time to go back into the conference.  Later that night as Susan and I were getting ready to go to bed, she mentions that it looked like Euro was really interested in me.  I’m like “HUH??? Seriously?!?”   Tidbit about me:  I am actually totally shy and completely clueless when it comes to knowing if a guy is into me. If I really like someone, I get all quiet and girly and if he does not make a move, then I miss out. Once she said this to me, I replayed the meeting in my head and I realized that he was giving off signals that he was interested.  I decided the next day to make my move as I thought he was really cute.

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Geekiness, Fortune & Romance at the World Internet Summit – I’m in Heaven!!

It’s day one of WIS and I truly cannot believe I’m here.  I only found out about WIS in late December and even though I had no earthly idea as to how I would get here financially or logistically, I made the decision in Dec. that come March, I would be here and HERE I AM!!!  GOD IS GOOD!!  I am supposed to be here!!I start out the morning with a shower, get dressed and then proceed to do my hair.  I decided to go for mega dramatic hair for this trip and got my new weave with 22in long hair.  Just to help you visualize, remember Cher in the 70′s and how long her hair was – yeah, that was 22 inches!!  My hair is down to my big chocolate bootie and it looks good!!  I got Indian Wavy from extensions plus – http://extensions-plus.com – the absolute best place to buy quality hair.  This will last me for years.  Anyway, I plug in my curling iron with my aussie adapter and after 5 minutes, I pick up my iron to curl my hair and I notice the iron is turning black.  Huh???  I took a small piece of hair to curl and within 1/2 seconds, my hair was burning.  DAMN!!! The voltage here in OZ is 220v and my curling iron is only up to 120v.  My curling iron burned the hell up!!  That also means that my flat iron won’t work.  Ain’t this a bitch!!!  My sista-girls will understand the seriousness of this situation – here I am all the way across the damn world in a land where there are NO BLACK PEOPLE, much less any sistas that need a curling iron that gets super hot to make my pretty curls or to straighten this suff when I want to rock the silky straight.  What am I gonna do???  Luckily, I just got this hair put in right before my flight so it was not looking crazy so I was able to fluff it and go and be okay. The rest of the three days when I am counting on “pimping the pretty” and need to rock some fly hair, uh yeah, I have no clue.

Anyway, it’s now about 8:15 and the doors to the conference open at 9:00am.  I plan on being front and center as my golden strategy that I employ at every conference/seminar I attend is to be sitting within the first 2-4 rows on an end seat so that when they call for questions, I get to stand up, front and center in front of the entire room of usually 500+ people, take the microphone and say something incredibly profound. I do this early & fairly often in the conference so that the whole room gets to see me, hear me & make the decision that they want to get to know me. (Golden tip #1 – if they call for someone to go up onstage – get your ass up out of your seat and be the first one up!!} It saves me the stress of having to introduce myself to people as they now come to me. As I am almost always the ONLY BLACK WOMAN IN THE ROOM or the only one that is halfway “Diva-Delicious” looking, I always have a beeline of men that will buzz around trying to get my attention throughout the weekend and I get to pick and choose who I want to be with like a Queen Bee.

Ladies, pay CLOSE attention to what I am about to tell you as I am about to drop some SERIOUS man-getting knowledge on you that I need to be getting paid for. Fellas, I am going waaaaaaay off topic here, so you can tune out.  As I mentioned in my “about me” page, one of my 3 objectives in traveling is to meet lots of hot, sexy men.  For those of you that do not know me, this also typically means WEALTHY men – should be a given, but some of you are not informed.  My girlfriends are always asking me where in the world do I meet all of the p-a-i-d men that I date.  Aside from my own neighborhood – hello, why do you think I deliberatly chose to live in Beverly Hills when I moved to LA – I also go to a ton of conferences/seminars every year that attract wealthy people.  I really hope ya’ll are taking notes here!!!  You have to go to real estate, internet marketing, self-development, professional organizations, Success, wealth protection, wealth creation events/seminars.  These are all topics that are of interest to me and that I actually implement in my life.  You can’t just show up not knowing anything about the topic.  You have to have a true interest as there is a huge time & financial investment in attending these events. Every one I attend (and I attend at least 5 a year), I spend anywhere from $3,000-$15,000  on each one with airfare, lodging, food and educational materials if I choose to buy courses. I am serious about investing in myself professionally, personally and educationally but I reap the rewards too. You have to be able to talk the talk and and know enough to know who the TRUE PLAYERS are.  You do not want to get stuck talking to a bunch of newbies or broke people trying to learn the “secret” to becoming rich.  Hell, you can stay home for that!!  LOL.  Do your homework ahead of time to know who is speaking and what type of people follow them. You need to be able to speak intelligently, not be shy, go talk to everyone. When you meet someone that you have an interest in, you need to be ready:  {GOLDEN TIP #2 – Have business cards made up – but not your typical business card.  Go to vistaprint.com… and get 250 cards for free.  I would actually suggest you upgrade to the next level card with the glossy finish.  You want to put your photo on the card (assuming you are pretty of course, otherwise, I really can’t help you), your full name, email and phone number. Instead of some bullshit company name and title that suckers put on their cards, simply put “Entrepreneur”. This will accomplish 3 things: 1. he’ll remember you when he pulls out your card later and there is your beautiful face looking back at him 2. he will know how to contact you and 3. he’ll be intrigued by the mystique of the “Entrepreneur” title to want to get to know you better.  You better make sure you can back that sh*t up though and really have something going on.}  Google Brian Tracy, Dan Kennedy, Jack Canfield, Armand Morin, Jeff Johnson,  Mark Victor Hansen, John Childers..etc to get a clue as to what I am talking about re: the types of events you should go to.)  Do enough homework so that you can talk about strategies briefly and ask the guy to talk about what he does.  Ladies, you know that the only voice a man wants to hear is his own  so use this to your advantage.  Listen intently to every word he says as if he is dropping gold bombs.  Nod, smile, throw in some “uh-huh’s” , ask a few questions, keep eye contact so he thinks you are really listening.  Meanwhile, you are listening trying to find out a way to connect later for drinks/dinner or lunch if it is early in the day – but only after you have determined if you are interested.  Is he totally hot and you just want a kissing buddy, is he super smart and you really want to learn from him and see if you can do some work together, is this someone you can mastermind with, will this be a lifelong friend or is he super-paid and you think you may have a winner? Either way, this stuff works!! {Golden tip #3 – if you are one of my girls that will not date interracially, then you can completely ignore my advice above as it only works with men that actually want to date a Black Woman}.
Okay, so back to WIS…the first day was intros and lots of newbie info. I spent the day memorizing the agenda, familiariazing myself with the speakers and determining which ones I truly wanted to connect with and when would they be speaking.  Also spent time with my friend David. I met David at the Armand Morin conference in Phoenix the weekend of Dec 3-5 2008.  He was in the states from Australia with his family on holiday and he introduced himself to me during one of the breaks.  We ended up connecting and I met more of the people he met and at the end of the day, we had a group of about 10 that wanted to continue communicating so we created a mastermind group.  We would talk weekly on Sundays about what we internet marketing projects we were working, giving each other advice, encouragement, etc…  During one of our first calls, we were stating our goals for 2009 and I told about my intention to be in Australia in March for WIS, even though I had no idea how it would happen.  As it so happens, David lives on the Gold Coast where WIS was being held (conincidence huh?  Thank you God for that one) and he invited me to stay at his house with he and his family while I was in town after the conference ended.  I was so grateful for that!!  David and I and his friends spent a ton of time together at this conference.  Also, during the conference, I put in a request for a roommate as I did not want to pay $400 a night myself.  I ended up (again by coincidence, Thank you God again) with a woman named Susan from Sydney. She is an amazing person that became a really good friend to me.   The rest of the day was spent at the conference before heading off to bed for 11 hours of sleep.

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