How to be Single Around the World

I first discovered Liz Tuccillio’s webisodes about being single when I was doing research on what it was like to be single in Sydney. Liz is formerly a writer on one of my all time favorite shows, Sex in the City and she co-wrote the book, ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’, which I think I blogged about in an earlier post. I relayed the story of how the man that I had “dating” & truly cared about off and on for many months actually bought me that book while were ON A DATE!!! Years later, that one still stings, LOL!!

Anyway, I thought this particular webisode was interesting since I am single as I travel around the world. Looks like I need to look into going to Iceland! Enjoy and check out her other videos. They are very insightful. You can check out more of her videos by visiting her site: www.yourtango.com… .

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Dating A Black Guy? 10 Things NOT To Say

I found this post online on yourtango.com and it really cracked me up. These are definitely things a Brotha does not want to hear:

Dating A Black Guy? 10 Things NOT To Say
by lemondrop

Even though we live in a “post-racial society” (thanks, Oprah!), we’re all still pretty much ignorant when it comes to stereotypes.

Before reaching across the color line to make nice, make sure to avoid uttering any of these awkward phrases that’ll have the “cool” black guy seeing red.

10. “So what sports do you play?”
We love playing tag. As a matter of fact, you’re “it.” Go hide while we count to a hundred million. 1… 2 … 3…

9. “Do you work here?”
No, but the guy over there does. You’ll notice he has a name tag and a spiffy uniform that matches the colors in the store’s logo.

8. “How many kids [1] do you have?”
None … of your business.

7. “Hey, you look like, [insert famous black guy's name here].”
No, we don’t. End of story. But you look like an ass, though.

6. “I love your name, it’s so ethnic.”
We did too, until you made it sound like some sort of “ethnic” dinner special. Mom and Dad will be so pleased that some strange woman approves of their choice.

5. “Do you know where I can score some weed?”
Probably the same place you get your coke—and we’re not talking about soda. Zing!

4. “I’ve never dated a black guy before.”
Hmm, we wonder why? Good luck with that (not really).

3. “I voted for Obama.”
Oh, so that explains the landslide victory. I’ll definitely let him know when I see him at the next family reunion.

2. “Oh, I thought it would be bigger than that.”
Talk about a buzz kill. Saying something like that is actually going to make it get smaller and us disappear right after that. By the way, you do realize that if we were all large and in charge that would actually make big the average, right?

1. “So is it really that big?”
Yes. We know that totally goes against what we just said in number two, but we happen to like this fact-based stereotype.

Written by Anselm Samuel for Lemondrop.

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Love is in the Air…It’s Just Not Blowing This Way…

Hello All! How goes it Mates? Things are good here in the land of OZ, however, I am feeling the internal rumblings of the need for MAJOR change yet again. Just lying still until the message is more clear.

Anyway, one of the changes I am ready for is true love/companionship in my life. I am beyond over the pattern of meeting men that I want to be with and they are not into me and/or meeting men that I am not into and I cannot get rid of them. It’s become absurdly comical when the men that I have absolutely no attraction to whatsoever criticize me (veiled as “helpful” advice) by saying that I am “closed to Love” and that is why I am single. Well NO SHIT Sherlock -like you as a friend but you don’t remotely get my juices flowing, so uh YEAH, the doors are CLOSED!!! What is it going to take for me to meet just one Man that is completely into me and vice versa? I know that everyone says be patient, but DAYUM!!! I know that I am not perfect and I have a lot more work to do, but can a Sistah get some consistent affection in the meantime? LOL

I am a regular reader of blogs that promote the interest of strong, beautiful Black Women and one of them is http://www.alphanista.com created by the beautiful Maryann Reid. She sent an email to her list that spoke to me and I think it may speak to my fellow single readers that are looking for love. I’m going to adopt these tactics as I continue to work on softening & opening my heart.

Here is the post:

Getting The Love You Deserve–The GAME

It’s not just a love game, but life’s a game.

A game of ask and receive. Sometimes, we question if it can really be that easy. Oh, it is. The problem lies in our end when we don’t believe. Specifically, when it comes to love. Here’s a story.

A lady I met a business conference told me about a time in her life when she hadn’t had sex in three years, or even been on a date. I asked her what she did to turn it around. The rock on her ring finger blinded me!

She told me that around the 3rd year, she felt her life was never going to change. She was 36 and over the time, had gained 25 pounds. She was overweight, getting bitter, and slowly shutting herself down. She had little friends, because everyone had moved, had kids, or married off. So, what she did was take a pen and paper. She started to sketch about once or twice a week the life she wanted–a garden, a handsome, loving husband, children, a better job, and her own home. She wrote and drew intricate details. She told me, in about the 3rd week, she got an invitation to housesit for a relative in Martha’s Vineyard.

She spent half the summer secluded in all its beauty, and still a little depressed there was no one to share with. Low and behold, her next door neighbors invited her to a BBQ a few weeks later, and she met him. Him, who? Him, her husband. They got married in a few months. It happened quick, clean, and fast. He was 44, divorced, and ready, too. She now lives in Martha’s Vineyard, and everything she has sketched has come to pass–everything.

Many folks don’t know how to ask. They either create their own system or use one that is tried and true. Either way, start rolling up your sleeves, use your inner resources, and cause a dramatic shift in your love life–like magic.
With love,
Maryann
www.alphanista.com…

Caio for Now and stay blessed!!
Love,
Sheila

This Brotha summed everything up perfectly!! BTW…contrary to belief, I LOVE BLACK MEN! I LOVE ALL MEN!!

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I Kissed a boy!!

Sat March 14th – The conference was great.  Met tons of people, made lots of connections, learned lots of stuff…yeah, yeah, yeah, I want to talk about Euro.

So, I wake up all giggly and smiley just like a damn girl.  I met a boy, I met a boy and I’m going to get him to ask me out today!  I get sort of cute – keep in mind that my effing curling iron burned up day one. It is now day 3 and the hair is not looking good.  I have to rock my green hat for the rest of the damn event.  That kills several of the majorly cute outfits I would like to wear.  How can I be sexy, alluring & professional without looking like I am trying to be?  Oh yeah, tight jeans, cute sandals and a tight, yet tastful, boobie revealing top.  Niiiiiiiice!!  I head downstairs with my mission very clear…find Euro and make him mine!!  I get down early to get my up front seat and I am cooly and casually scanning the crowd. He’s tall (6’3″ – I likeeeee) and his look is distinctive so he will be easy to spot.  Damn, I don’t see him anywhere!  I sit with my friends David and others and listen to all the great content. Lunch break – gotta find him.  He is still now where to be seen.  After lunch, I spot him!  I make a cool, calculated, sexy beeline over to him and say “hi” all while thanking God that I had time after lunch to go to the room and completely spruce – fresh breath, deodorant reapplied, make-up tightened up, big chocolate boobies pulled up & pushed in nice and high in the push up bra.  Oh yeah, I’m armed and ready!! I saunter over to Euro and ask where he’s been all day. He tells me that he had work to do (me likeee that answer. Gotta make that paper!!).  We chat for a bit before I had to go to my seat.  He asks me if I would like to meet in the bar after the conference for some wine.  BINGO!!!  I told ya’ll ladies, this shit works!!!!  I smile my big chester cheetah smile and I say, “of course”. I’ll meet you at 8:00pm.  Needless to say, I didn’t hear a word that was said at WIS the rest of the conference.  We broke for the evening at 7:00.  I had one hour to get get super sexy, again, without looking like I’m trying.  I shower and put on the same jeans with another cute top.  Redo the makeup and hair and out the door I go to meet Euro. Real-deal Holyfield details are reserved for my V.I.P. group of grown girls, so I’ll keep this brief.  We met for drinks and really connected.  After 2 bottles of wine, we decided to go to dinner.  Had a great dinner – lots more drinks and convo. and it was back to the hotel to rest up for the long day ahead of us the next morning.   Okay, okay, there was some major kissing involved. but as I said, only my “grown girls” and ya’ll know who you are will get the REAL SCOOP and it’s good!!!  hehehehehehe

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I MET A BOY!!

March 13th – It does not take me long does it!! Day 2 baby!!  Day started at 9:00 – I’m on row 3.  Tons of different speakers with so much content, I am transfixed on the knowledge I am receiving.  Toward the end of the day, Susan and I duck out and go sit on a sofa in the lobby.  This guy comes over and asks can he join us. I am brain dead at this point so I really didn’t notice him, but of course we say yes.  We start talking – the obligatory “what do you do” question.  Susan and I give our spiel and he (I won’t give his name to protect the innocent. I’ll call him “Euro” as he had a very European style with his dress that was sexy.) has a site that is in a niche that I would have never thought of.  Once you hear it, it is super obvious, however, you would never imagine that there is a market for it.  Turns out there is and he is VERY successful.  Hmmmm…my interest is piqued lol.  He is actually really cute, however, it doesn’t seem like he is interested in me too much, so I don’t “turn on the charm” like I usually would.  We all ended up talking for a bit more and then it was time to go back into the conference.  Later that night as Susan and I were getting ready to go to bed, she mentions that it looked like Euro was really interested in me.  I’m like “HUH??? Seriously?!?”   Tidbit about me:  I am actually totally shy and completely clueless when it comes to knowing if a guy is into me. If I really like someone, I get all quiet and girly and if he does not make a move, then I miss out. Once she said this to me, I replayed the meeting in my head and I realized that he was giving off signals that he was interested.  I decided the next day to make my move as I thought he was really cute.

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