PUBLIC SPEAKING CAREER IN MY FUTURE?

Just thought I would write a quick post to put a new idea/life plan for my life out into the Universe with the instruction for it to actually Manifest. Twice within the past 36 hours, 2 people whose opinions I think very highly of, both told me that I should make a career out of Public Speaking. Both of them mentioned that I should
speak to Women. I have heard this many times from other people in the past 2 years. It is actually a dream of mine to become a highly paid public/motivational speaker, but at the same time, the thought of it scares the hell out of me.

For years, I have proclaimed to anyone that would listen that I have a fear of public speaking. Through the major corporations I have been blessed enough to work for (Disney, Gateway, Activision), I have taken many high dollar public speaking trainings. I also had an entire semester of Public Speaking 101 while
I was a student at The University of Kansas. I think I managed to get a B- in that class. It has been my experience that when I had to do prepared, written speeches, I would be gripped with the most gut-wrenching, debilitating fear. When I got up to deliver my speeches, my body and voice would be trembling so badly that I could barely get the words out. I would start sweating and could not make eye contact with the audience. It has always been such a horrible experience for me. I now know that this reaction is not a fear of speaking, but it is actually my fear of being judged. I find myself worrying about my hair or my weight or my outfit and the possibility that the audience will think I am “ugly”. Crazy I know!!

On the very Psycho flip side though, there have been many occasions where I have been at seminars with several hundred/thousand people and an opportunity to take the mike or go on stage and speak impromptu to the crowd presented itself and I have rocked it! In fact, I very deliberately seat myself at the end of an aisle, at the front of the seminar room just so I can guarantee myself a chance to get up in front of the crowd and be heard and seen. What the hell is that about?? I love being the center of attention in those situations where I can speak off the cuff and not have to prepare a talk. How is it possible to have a very strong desire to speak in front of large groups of people, either in person or via some sort of digital media, while fearing it at the same time?? I know I have a gift and I am in some way destined to share it.

What do I do with this? How can I fulfill what I do believe is part of my destiny to become a motivational speaker and find my platform? Hmmmmmm… Perhaps since this revelation is now “out there”, something totally amazing will Manifest

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